You must read actor Jeffrey Tambor's new book Are You Anybody; A Memoir. Jeffrey's poignant life story reminds us that we are destined to get a lot of no's in our lives. Whether we take Jeffrey's route to the stage, television and big screen or in the daily tasks of courtship, getting past the gatekeeper or the dreaded job interview - we must steel ourselves to the word 'no.'
The author explains to the reader you are not the only one to hear that dreaded word. Jeffrey tells us how super producer Brian Grazer, 'Splash' and 'Empire,' heard a lifetime of no's - but dusts himself off and asks again.
Jeffrey reminds us that the show must go on. He had the lead role in a stage production in Los Angeles - a production in which he was getting glowing reviews. Five minutes before going on stage for his theatrical production Jeffrey takes a call. The producer of a television show that Jeffrey has starred in for the past two seasons is on the line. The producer tells Jeffrey, "Your character is going in a different direction." Jeffrey liked the idea. He said, "Yes, I agree I'd like to see more...from my character." The producer said, "No, we're going in a different direction and eliminating your character." Jeffrey hears these leaden words five minutes before Jeffrey takes the stage.
Jeffrey endures these disappointments and a fling with Scientology, divorce and later in life, a second marriage and enjoying his four children (all under ten years old) when Jeffrey is seventy years old. Jeffrey exhorts the reader to keep asking, even if it means more no's. Jeffrey continues to audition and get great roles now in 2017, at seventy.
He learns more than humility and perseverance. Early in his career Jeffrey has a small role on Broadway. He speaks a few lines with General Patton's film portrayer, George C. Scott. During rehearsals Mr. Scott asks Jeffrey if he wants a partner to read through the script. What kindness from the legendary actor George C. Scott. After the show has a successful run, the cast has a party. At the party Jeffrey asks Mr. Scott, "What can I do for you to repay your kindness to me?" George C. Scott says, "Help somebody." The General Patton actor's version of 'pay it forward.'
We won't get every lead role, our television show might not run twenty seasons and we might not get a front row seat at the Golden Globe Awards ceremony. Yet from every 'no' we can learn, adapt, and persevere.
Please tell us your most dramatic 'no' and how you handled it.